Why Skill Mastery is Not Enough
An answer to the question: Why I haven’t achieved as much as I should
It is not abnormal to see very talented individuals with level of progress sharply contrasting their competence and abilities. We enter companies and the seat of power and control is not in the hands of the most adept instead, the talented fellow left out in promotions. In truth, mastery is essential and worth striving for, but mastery of skill without understanding the dynamics at play around you is as inimical as not having any.
Often the greatest obstacle to our progress comes from the emotion drain we experience in dealing with people. More retrenchments, referrals, recommendations, and promotions come from feeling of warmth and satisfaction that comes from working with a person, than from the actual work.
Most professionals are very comfortable ignoring the social aspect of human interaction in favor of skill improvement. They are mostly of the opinion: Get the job done that’s all the manager wants — while forgetting that the manager himself is a human being (a social being), and ignoring this social aspect of human existence is a good as ignoring the human in person.
“man, by nature is a social animal, an individual who is unsocial naturally and not accidentally is either beneath our notice or more than human”
Aristotle
We keep encountering that one person in the office that mostly avoids contact or social interaction with the fellow staff, though this is not bad in itself, we need to understand that skills can be learnt by any body, thus making you easily disposable at any point, but an impression made emotionally — either positive or negative — remains in our minds for a long while.
Avoiding the emotional wants of those around you, leaves you operating in a totally different dimension with no one else but yourself. But this is not all, the only thing worse than avoiding social interactions is defacing someone's worth, or trampling on one’s ego, and most of the times just a very thin line separates one from the other.
Many individuals in their quest for professionalism inadvertently fall into these pit holes of social unawareness. Though, you wouldn’t call this a crime in the civilized world, in the realm of social interactions, you have placed and the time-bomb waiting to explode.
“We must, however, acknowledge that man with all his noble qualities, with sympathy which feels for the most debased, with benevolence which extends not only to other men but to the humblest living creature, with his god-like intellect which has penetrated into the movements and constitution of the solar system-with all these exalted powers- Man still bears in his bodily frame the indelible stamp of his lowly origin”
CHARLES DARWIN
As much as we would love to believe that we are more civilized and ‘Way past’ that level of thinking, these still govern our actions in different ways. A slight on our pride causes a move to regain face, an affront to your dignity can make you go lengths to regain your pride and all these are unforeseen aspects of human life but, they determine what we do. A slander to your bosses’ pride would not give you the recommendation you may desire, an ostentatious attitude with your colleagues would make working with you difficult even when it shouldn’t be so, and the list of pitfalls relating to this goes on and on.
Going beyond skill mastery can be the turning point in your career. Learning what lies beyond the automaton world of cramming techniques is a skill relevant to navigate through the tortuous road of human interactions, personally, these are some tips to help you improve your social intelligence in the work place.
1. Learn to listen purposefully
Opening your ears to words are just mere hearing but purposeful listening involves paying attention and gleaning not only what is said but understanding the motive behind such message.
I had a personal share of this sort of experience a few years back with one of my clients, when I took the job, at first, I noticed he was a loquacious person. He would discuss matters ranging from the stranger he met the previous day, to the seminar he took last two years, I first found this annoying and time wasting, but on further meetings, I noticed he was a person who was somewhat, alienated in his workplace, and that would have probably been the reason why he always extended his stories: no one else would have listened to him in his workplace, and I gave that listening ear he needed.
In the end, our work turned out to be a smooth ride, I thought he was a curmudgeon, but he turned out to be a calm customer who always told me to take my time in the work. He even accommodated the fact that I didn’t have enough experience as I should to handle the work, but instead of looking elsewhere, submitted to my proposal to research and return when I was ready. The project happened to be a slide, and even after all these, I got very good reviews and recommendations to his friends, this story is a life story of my experience.
If I had cut his rant short with the curt, let’s get to business kind of talk, or any of the sort, I wouldn’t have benefited from the knowledge and reference which I enjoyed from him (and which I am still enjoying right now 😉).
“When you drop your defense mechanisms and pay deep attention to others, you need to lower your guard and open yourself up to their influence as well. But as long as your emotions and empathy are directed outward, you will be able to detach yourself when necessary and analyze what you have gleaned”
Robert Greene
Most of the times, the statement “I prefer working with John” Actually masks an inherent “I love talking to him” . There is a lot to gain from listening if only you try it.
2. Resist arguments at all costs
“It is a great folly to hope that other men will harmonize with us: I have never hoped this. I have always regarded each man as an independent individual, whom I endeavored to understand with all his peculiarities, but from whom I desired no further sympathy. In this way have I been enabled to converse with every man, and thus alone is produced the knowledge of various characters and the dexterity necessary for the conduct of life”
JOHANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE
Argument never solves a problem. If it does, both defendant and plaintiff would automatically become pals after every court judgement. Run away from arguments when you can especially with your superiors. But when it seems inevitable or pertinent to a cause, rather try to prove your point using actions. I repeat using ACTIONS.
You can take example from the incident with Michelangelo during the 1500s
3. Exploit our inherent need for self-aggrandizement
Understand people’s need to be on the top. Your boss would not care so much as how your high skill would brought about the completion of the work that would have been thought to be impossible but would rather be very willing to hear as much elegy you have about how his little — and probably ineffectual effort — saved the company. You may think you are doing your boss some good but in the real sense, you are actually doing better to yourself, even more than the completion of the work would have done for you.
My personal hint: use flattery, it wouldn’t harm you, but would reserve a position for you in the receiver’s mind.
You will encounter a lot of people in the course of your work. Your ability to balance both social life and professional life is the deciding factor that separates you from the crowd. So, when next you work into your workplace, make good effort to understand people and what they want as a person, then your mastery and skill would shine forth and propel you to the level of progress you so require.
